Articles are available for reprint as long as the author is acknowledged: Domenick J. Maglio Ph.D.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Schools Promoting Sex Over God "Day of Silence"

The April 15, 2008 front page of the Tampa Tribune read: “Final Four Gives Lesbians Forum to Celebrate Women. Parties, basketball-and a sense of camaraderie- draw crowds to what some call the lesbian “Super Bowl.” Many indignant letters to the editor did not appreciate the Tribune’s promotion of the lesbian agenda.
It is one thing for a political newspaper to advance a homosexual agenda; it is another for our supposedly non-political educational institutions to do the same. Government schools should expose students neither to a religious way of believing or towards an uncommon sexual orientation. In a totalitarian country indoctrination of a particular belief system is accomplished by the state, while in a free nation moral values are taught by the family and church.
Our government has banned prayer in ceremonies in school. Even one minute of silent prayer has been viewed as an infringement on religious freedom. On April 15th Marcus Borden a sports coach for two decades in East Brunswick High School, was found by the Third Circuit Court to have crossed the line of an unconstitutional endorsement of religion. His crime was to kneel in silence before games with his team even though this ritual is common in college and professional sports
On April 25th many of our government schools throughout our nation are sponsoring not one minute but an entire “Day of Silence.” The Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network (GLSEN) to promote acceptance and support of homosexual behavior in our government schools initiated this event. Teachers are encouraged by many school districts to participate as well. Online at afa.net the schools are by state that are honoring this event.
When our government attempts to repress any mention of God in our schools while encouraging the acceptance of a Biblically deviant homosexual orientation over the majority heterosexual behavior, it is a blatant reverse discrimination against the moral majority of Americans.
This “Day of Silence” discriminates against heterosexual parents and their children. There is no day of the year where we celebrate the normal opposite gender attraction. It serves no reasonable purpose to coerce youngsters into committing themselves to a lifestyle before they are sufficiently mentally and physically mature to understand the long-term implications of their choices.
Teenage students are solidifying their sexual identity. All students have a right to choose to identify himself or herself as either a homosexual or heterosexual. Normalizing homosexuality is not a function of the state in a free country. The vast majority of heterosexual parents want their children to live a normal life of marrying a person of the opposite sex and having a traditional family.
Peer group clubs like GLSEN often are informally sponsored and led by people who have a strong homosexual agenda. These clubs should not be allowed to indoctrinate our children. Our sexuality is a personal choice not a decision to be made by a government re-education program.
“Normal,” in a free America, is what the majority of the people are and what they do. Schools should remain in the business of educating not changing the norms of society by manipulating the minds of students. Our government needs to cease social engineering and leave personal sexual choice to the individual.
If we are going to radically misinterpret the constitution to exclude any mention of God in our nation, then there is no justification for changing the moral values of our children.
There should be the same separation between school and homosexual indoctrination that there is between church and state.
We can send a clear message to government schools by encouraging our children to ask questions in school on this absurd “Day of Silence.” Questioning is a necessary element of freedom in a society. We pay for our children’s education through our taxes. Our children have a right to learn and should not waste another day. Silencing questions for an entire day is not sound educational policy: it is propaganda.
Dr. Maglio is the author of Invasion Within and Essential Parenting. He is a psychotherapist and the owner/director of Wider Horizons School.

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From Zero Population to Global Warming

"People did what worked. Now people are doing what sounds good. " Thomas Sowell

The Florida insurance company's skyrocketing rates on homes was scientifically justified using meteorological models to predict hurricanes in 2006 and 2007. The scientific agreement on an active hurricane season for these years was absolutely wrong. None occurred although there were no rebates for the exorbitant rates. So much for certainty of scientific predictions.

These are the same models that have difficulty predicting tomorrow's weather. Computer programs are only as good as the programmer and the data used.

In the 1960s sitting in a university classroom studying Malthus's theory of overpopulation written in 1798, it sounded inevitable that as the world population increased man's ability to supply ample food would lead to worldwide famine and disease. This Maltusian doctrine was the rationale for the Zero Population movement.

The world's population has exploded from less than a billion in the 1700s to over 6 billion yet the food supply has increased to more than meet the demand of the increased population. Today, instead of famine and disease we have obese people living longer than ever.

This theory based on consensus science to control world population has been a dismal failure. It has not curbed the earth's population but has politically destabilized the most environmentally concerned nations on earth, the western societies.

Zero population has reduced European and North American birth rates causing modern nations to rely on a large influx of immigrants to remain economically viable. At the same time the developing nations' population has exploded. The world's population has grown rapidly even with western nations reducing their birth rate to zero. This has undermined the ability of these nations to survive not from over population but from under population.

The same arrogance of changing the world on what sounds dreadfully plausible is seen in the "bird flu pandemic" scare, the "Y2K" fiasco and the hysteria over nuclear energy plant meltdowns. Bird flu has not mutated, computers functioned as the millennium barrier was crossed and not a single person was killed by nuclear energy even though France has cut its reliance on oil by using nuclear energy.

The latest "scientific sky is falling " consensus fad, global warming, is taking the world by storm. Extrapolating from the fact the earth's temperature is rising, a host of dire predictions for mankind has been trumpeted throughout the world's media. The theory behind this warming says it is caused by manmade CO2 emissions. The world can only be saved by humanity cutting back on the production of carbon dioxide. "To capture the public imagination, we have to offer up some scary scenarios, make simplified dramatic statements and little mention of any doubts one might have. Each of us has to decide the right balance between being effective and being honest." Stephen Schneider (the lead author of the 2007 UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change report )

There is no demonstrative evidence to prove the global warming hypotheses that manmade CO2 levels are going to devastate the earth. Disregard other possible explanations for the sake of argument and let us assume this global warming thesis is true.

The UN's IPCC solution is the Kyoto Treaty. This protocol would limit developed nations' CO2 emissions to 1990 levels and exempt developing nations like China and India from any CO2 or other pollutant requirements.

Obviously by adopting the Kyoto protocol world wealth would be redistributed from once prosperous western nations to underdeveloped nations. "Climate change provides the greatest chance to bring about justice and equality in the world." Christine Stewart, Canada's former environmental minister. Government and corporate elites will increase their power and riches from their ability to tax some industries and grant waivers to others. This Kyoto agreement would eliminate free international trade replacing it with a world centralized economic system. Jacques Chirac: "Kyoto is the first component of an authentic global governance."

Before we are swept away by another rationale for saving the planet let us remember the subjective opinions of a group of experts, even scientists does not mean following them will result in a better existence. Science is based on the scientific method and replicating of studies, not a group of experts proclaiming consensus. This pop science's bandwagon led us to addictive prescription drugs, the housing and dot.com boom and bust.

We cannot rush to judgment. Rational thought, not hysterical fear, leads to healthy decision making. Only through careful step-by-step evaluation of the unfolding facts can we reach a rational policy on global warming. It is ridiculous for global warming alarmists to censor open discussion by claiming scientific certitude through consensus. This has been tried over and over again with negative consequences to the world, from the earth is the center of the solar system to zero population growth.

"Historically, the claim of consensus has been the first refuge of scoundrels: it is a way to avoid debate by claiming that the matter is already settled." Michael Crichton

Dr. Maglio is the author of Invasion Within and Essential Parenting. He is a psychotherapist and the owner/director of Wider Horizons School.

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We No Longer Say No

Our lack of personal toughness is sapping our authority to get things done right. The inability to deny ourselves anything is making us weak. This weakness is filtering down to every aspect of our society. When we don't say "no" to ourselves, how can we expect others in our charge to listen to us? We have forgotten the virtues of saying "no" to ourselves, our children, our students, employees and our ever-expanding government.

We are living in the present with little preparation for the future. Prudence has been tossed out in favor of hedonistic fantasy. The casual marriage, adoption and abandonment of children, drugging and partying is the life style of too many celebrities in sports, politics, business and entertainment. The traditional concept of saving for a rainy day has become obsolete. Our modern indulgent lifestyle is depleting our human and capital resources, which are essential for continuing the advancement of our civilization. We are spending money on the federal, state and household level like "drunken sailors."

Our spouses, children and employees will likely follow what we do, not what we say. When we live a glutinous, sexually permissive, dishonest lifestyle with little regard for the example we are setting for the youth we are creating a bleak future.

Our children do and get what they want because we do and get what we want. Placing limits on our children means placing limits on us. Living above our means is the name of the game. We should have it because we "deserve" it. Our lives are lived on credit. We rationalize that the worst that can happen is bankruptcy. That will only lead us to another gamble to maintain a lifestyle lived by the "skin of ones teeth."

Our parents, schools and churches have conveniently lowered standards to appease rather than elevate the character of people. We are producing, morally, emotionally and socially superficial individuals. We are becoming a soft, selfish and spiritually bankrupt nation.

As long as students are happy almost everyone remains content. The parents, teachers and administration go along with the philosophy of "just getting by." We are not living by principles of doing what is right. Even the churches are not willing to expose and expel clergy pedophiles or teach Biblical beliefs on homosexuality.

Caving in to the demands of others is easier than saying "no". Granting employees who give a minimum of effort incredible perks leads to failed ventures. The same can be said for allowing our government to expand spending our tax dollars without any tangible results in improving relevant services. Eventually this nonchalant attitude ends in economic and moral decline. The breakdown in upholding moral and economic standards leads to a dispirited society. This spiraling decline ends with the servitude of the people.

Not practicing personal discipline through sacrifice makes it likely others will follow our pathetic example. Being self-absorbed leaves little time for living a quality life. Instead of sharing wisdom with the next generation we tolerate behavior we know is self-destructive. We just don't care about the future.

We must say "Enough" when we know something is wrong. People should fight for the principle of right over wrong regardless of how others might view them. The greatest gift you can give to others is the truth.

Reversing this process has to begin where it started- in the family. Fathers have to stop being wimps and mothers need to be more critical of their child's daily behavior. Parents should start again to be the parents by saying "no" to things that are not in their children's or other family member's long-term best interest. This means adults must accept being disliked or hated in the short run for long-term dividends of raising productive children of good character, having a clear conscience and the self-respect of doing your duty in all aspects of your life.

As we learn to turn away from living only for today and start to become better at self-discipline we can positively impact not only ourselves but also everyone around us. Our legacy will move from only caring for oneself to leaving the earth a better place. Right now is the time to think about our spiritual purpose for the sake of all that we love.

Legacies are gifts we pass on to others only when we have the courage to say "no" to ourselves and others doing the wrong thing.

Dr. Maglio is the author of Invasion Within and Essential Parenting. He is a psychotherapist and the owner/director of Wider Horizons School.

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Robbing Any Citizen's Freedom Limits Everyone

Society should protect the innocent from despicable acts. Murder, sexual and physical abuse, destruction of property and reckless behavior need to have severe legal consequences in order to deter them. However, the more laws enacted, the less free the society. The more choices citizens are able to make, the freer the society.

When governments attempt to legislate preferences, manners and decency it is over-stepping its boundaries. It is going down a slippery path of oppression.

Our government has passed laws against smoking in restaurants, beaches and even in one's home. NYC mayor, Michael Bloomberg, decided educating the people about the dangers of trans fats would be ineffective. Instead he decreed that restaurants had to stop serving trans fats. Congress has established laws, which have curtailed our freedom of speech by making it a crime to utter certain words. A common expression today can be a hate crime tomorrow. Now California is attempting to require "programmable communicating thermostats' in homes so the government can control our heat and cooling during what is deemed an "emergency event."

Unnecessary laws are stifling our liberty. Free people collectively make better decisions than do government elites.

Most Americans have dropped their love affair with smoking being cool. Cigarettes have lost favor in our culture. Very few non-smokers have empathy for smokers. Cigarette smoke stinks and can cause allergic reactions. Many smokers have been persuaded to stop smoking for the sake of their health. Free people can be convinced to live without trans fats and can learn to stop saying politically incorrect things. Laws are not needed to tell us how to live our daily lives.

People in a free nation have the right to associate with anyone as long as they do not advocate violence against others. Some individuals who want to control their neighbor can join a deed-restricted community. Each individual voluntarily agrees to limits his choices as well as his neighbor's. These deed-restricting contracts can stipulate the color or one's house, number and kind of plant allowed and exclude children from the homes of community residents. These rights are not being taken from them; instead they are expressing their freedom to live in an environment that decreases their neighbor's and their own options. They agree to restrict their own freedoms.

It is a radically different act when the federal government limits individual's rights and freedoms. When government robs us of our positive choices it is not in the interest but against the interest of the people. This is despotism.

Even though all citizens should be agitated by the government abridging our freedoms, most of us do not protest. Our silence allows government to whittle away our independent choices. Limiting the rights of specific groups of people creates a political environment that makes all of our freedoms vulnerable.

Proposing new laws to correct a perceived problem usually enhances a politicians ability to be elected. These issues are often manufactured by special interests using dubious polls. Our society should not be changed by the whim of politicians passing laws motivated by special interests but by free individuals making choices over time.

In the past smoking was "cool," Oreo cookies and donuts were the rage, saying what you meant was valued. Today these all have lost cultural favor. People have made decisions on their own to change their behavior rather than being directed by "Big Brother."

America is a country with shrinking liberties. We are unwilling to recognize that government's attempt to unnecessarily restrict any of us will eventually affect all of us. Since most of these laws do not restrict us personally we take the lazy citizen approach and ignore them.

Laws and regulations are strangling our once great and free nation. Our children, our land, homes, eating habits, water and air will be the domain of the state. We are losing our rights and privileges. We have no one to blame but ourselves.

Our liberties will be lost by our not being vigilant to stand up for the rights of others. Losing our liberties in a dramatic coup or piecemeal still ends in a tyrannical existence.

Dr. Maglio is the author of Invasion Within and Essential Parenting. He is a psychotherapist and the owner/director of Wider Horizons School.

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The Tyranny of Minority Special Interests Over the Majority

We Americans must sacrifice time and effort to do our homework in order to be knowledgeable voters. Being too busy to do our civic duty is not an acceptable excuse. Educated citizens must give direction to our government representatives.

When the majority of Americans were educated on the eminent domain, Dubai port take over and illegal immigrant issues, left and right came together to direct our politicians. Through emails and telephone calls to our representatives we demonstrated we meant business. Politicians turned their backs on the special interests of international corporations, developers and financial institutions and turned towards the voice of the majority of Americans.

In these instances the smug arrogance of special interests was wiped off their faces by the average American. When we come together, our message is loud and clear. Politicians listen, perhaps for no other reason than to save their jobs. We stood up to some of the most powerful elites and were victorious for the benefit of us all. The majority should trump the powerful minorities.

The only reason special interest has dominated our political process is because we have become complacent and let them. Various interests have used the power of money to organize their efforts to push their sel- serving wish list. George Soros, of Moveon.org has spent millions of his own dollars to manipulate people into adopting more progressive, secular viewpoints. The oil, financial, NEA, ethnic, homosexual, racial and other special interests hire public relation firms and lobbyists to get what they want passed into law.

Special interests have been immensely effective in controlling the political machinery that many Americans feel they are powerless to compete against. The vast majority of us are acting as if it is inevitable that America will be deviously controlled by the new aristocracy of international corporations, non-profit groups and celebrity elites. We recognize special interest groups can get laws enacted even when it harms the national interest. We know the playing field is getting less and less level for small business and the average American.

Instead of demanding that our representatives are responsive to us, we just sulk and complain to each other. We know that legislative loyalty and allegiance can be purchased by the highest bidder. We ought to use the natural tendency of people to do what is needed to keep and promote their own power. We must reclaim our ability to form the ultimate special interest group called the "American people." By frequently showing our power through our numbers and monetary donations we will mandate our government to work for instead of against us.

In the computer age knowledge of any issue is at our fingertips. We can research, formulate our positions and mobilize large numbers of citizens to show our resolve and will to our politicians. By lighting up the phone lines at their offices and inundating them with emails we can instruct our representatives to do what is right. This will eliminate the feeling of impotency in the political process. The Internet's rapid research and communication gives us the tools to show our representatives how to do the people's business.

The salvation of our freedom lies not with passivity but with but educated, joint action. By showing a force of numbers we will encourage our representation to be motivated more by their moral and noble inclinations than blatant greed.

We will be reenergized by seeing the results of being victorious through our coordinated efforts. A representative government takes effort on the part of the citizens.

We can rekindle the spirit of our founding fathers extraordinary revolution by doing our part. Only through our hands-on involvement in politics can we combat and defeat the tyranny of the minority over the majority.

Dr. Maglio is the author of Invasion Within and Essential Parenting. He is a psychotherapist and the owner/director of Wider Horizons School.

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Pushy Parents, Underachieving Kids

Every time parents attempt to influence, cajole and finally browbeat a teacher to increase the child’s standing in the class, they are sending a horrible message to their child. The student learns parents will bail him out of his laziness, twisting of the truth and sloppiness in dealing with his daily school assignments. These potentially high functioning students concentrate on “getting over” on the teacher rather than just doing things right the first time. They rely on their parent’s powers of coercion rather than their own hard work to obtain high grades.

This disinterested and lazy view of schooling starts in the home. The child becomes absolved from solving his own daily problems. These compulsive parents do their child’s work rather than requiring the child to do it himself. Nagging is their primary strategy while the child learns to be selectively deaf and dumb. The child perfects these passive-aggressive games so that the irate parent gives up and does it herself.

These established habits of the child doing only what he wants to do is transferred from the home to the school environment. As long as learning comes easily it is not an issue. When the student can no longer get by with his reserve of general knowledge, usually in junior or senior high school, the problems surface. Instead of rising to the challenge of the harder work, the student digs in his heels using his passive-aggressive techniques used at home. The parent notices the lower grades and lack of studying that produces anxiety about their child’s future school success. As the child’s grades remain below the parent’s expectations it becomes the teacher’s not the child’s fault.

These are usually high functioning, bright parents who demand the best performance from everyone including their underachieving children. This approach usually works with the public. They direct the teacher to send everything home to them from grades, assignments, to specific reading lists. The parent decides to micro manage the child’s studies and homework until the parent becomes frustrated from the lack of results.

The parent’s inconsistency gives the child a free pass as the parent knows her pit bull tactics only drives the child further into his own world of avoidance. The solution to the parent’s dilemma is to place their child’s poor performance squarely on the shoulders of the teacher. “The teacher did not inform the parent early enough. There were insufficient progress reports for the parent’s liking. They did not know about this or that assignment. The child should receive one-on-one instruction.” The parent never places the responsibility where it belongs, on the child to do his own work.

The child’s dispassionate existence is reversed when the parent requires the child to be responsible for his own home chores and school duties. The parents’ emphasis should be demanding what is in their control, the child doing family responsibilities. At the same time the parents increase their pressure at home, they should release the reins for their child’s academic studies. Any difficulty the child has at school should be viewed by the parent as an opportunity for the child to improve and grow as a student.

The message should be loud and clear. “You contribute to the family and become responsible for your own education or else you will be cut off from the things you love but have not earned.” The computer, television, books, the child’s virtual reality must be replaced with a chore list of helping the family. “Not for a weekend or a month but until you show ownership of your chores and schoolwork.”

When the parents understand that their youngster must be held accountable for his own well being then they allow the child to make his own choices and deal with the consequences of his behavior. The message changes from “I will use my power to cover up your self-made difficulties” to “grow up because this is your life now.” This shift in the parent’s attitude and behavior will move the child from underachieving towards taking more appropriate action for his own future. The child will become empowered to mature into a self-reliant student.

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Inflated Wallets, Arrogant Egos

The housing boom has turned into the mortgage bust. Financial experts are stating that people with “upside-down” houses, houses valued less than the mortgage, have no obligation to continue to pay. Their advice is “walk away and in several years you can restore your credit.” It is clear to these experts that money consideration trumps all other values.

Moral considerations of fulfilling one’s contract, keeping one’s word have been tossed out the window. They have been replaced with “it is all about money.” This is our new amoral guide to existence. The more we measure ourselves in material wealth, the less we follow what is right. Our humility plummets while our arrogance skyrockets.

Our corrupting materialism has trickled down to the youngest members of society. Children are blasé about even the most sophisticated gifts losing interest shortly after unwrapping them. The more people of any age receive something for nothing, the less gratitude and appreciation they can be expected to feel.

Even people who break our laws entering our country illegally demand the benefits of our social welfare system to which they are not entitled or deserve. Our unaware citizens pay in full. K-12 education, healthcare, subsidized housing, food stamps and college tuition for illegal aliens. Again it is something for nothing. Too many of us unconsciously believe our national treasury is limitless.

Disaster victims and our poorest citizens demand the government do for them instead of the citizens doing for themselves. Too many of us no longer feel it is our duty to help ourselves and our loved ones. Instead we expect the government do it for us. Our entitlement mentality has spread to every crevice of our nation.

Even financial mega corporations and affluent people who make risky investments in the stock or home market want others to bail them out. Financial decisions are being made under the assumption that they are going to make money, not lose it for companies as well as individuals. Presumptuously they believe since they made money in the past, the government has the responsibility to guarantee it in the future. The social welfare or “the government should save me from my poor but freely made choices” has caught on with all segments of society, even the wealthy.

Recent college graduates feel they should start at the top of the ladder. Their degrees should place them at the zenith of the pay scale, give them a great office with no supervisors above them since they already know everything. Their lack of professional experience is a non-issue. They have been told by their instructors that they have the latest knowledge and methods of doing any job. The professors’ hype and the parents’ material power have created an attitude of conceit that is detrimental to every aspect of their lives.

When the thickness of our wallet makes us feel good about ourselves, then the thinness of it makes us feel like losers. Many of us have gotten into the habit of buying something to make us feel good. People will no longer be able to use money power as their financial situation deteriorates. They will suffer the loss of a falsely inflated identity. The inability to continue to get a shopping adrenaline rush and no longer being able to hire people to do our menial chores will breed resentment.

People are already so desperate they are willing to raid their retirement funds. Using a debit card to withdraw their 401K is only delaying the pain of not being able to buy whatever they want whenever they want it. Eventually the person will deplete his nest egg and demand a social security government bail out.

What goes up must come down to earth. Losing the security of being rich on paper has a deflating effect that can reduce some to chronic depression. The worship of the amount of money accumulated leads to temporary arrogance and elation as well as inevitable disappointment. As the adage about money clearly states, “you can’t take it with you.”

The best antidote to corrupting materialism is to stop believing life is all about money. It is more about spiritual values: goodness, kindness and doing God’s work in every way Being rich in virtue can never be taken away no matter how poor one may become in material goods.

Thick or thin wallets can be a measuring gage of our monetary wealth but not of a life well lived. The measure of a rich man is not how much he has but how little he needs and uses to live a good life.

Dr. Maglio is the author of Invasion Within and Essential Parenting. He is a psychotherapist and the owner/director of Wider Horizons School.

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Vote Your Preference not the Polls

There are very few people that follow politics who believe in the infallibility of the polls although too many of us are influenced by them. Often people alter their vote because the polls indicate it would be wasted on a candidate who has the certainty of victory or no chance to win. In either case our decision on what bubble to fill in can be altered by erroneous polls caused by incompetence, faulty scientific procedures or an attempt to influence the election.

Polls are often blurred and inaccurate snapshots of people’s feelings at a given moment toward a particular candidate. Many people refuse to answer pollster’s questions. Dissatisfied independents who were going to vote democrat or republican switch their party for the evening to skew the results. Some voters do not make up their minds until the last minute. Others may not honestly answer an exit poll question on a particular issue as it might make them appear in a bad light. This encourages self-censorship distorting the data used by the analysts to project a winner. Although it is against the law, these projected winners are often given before the polls close in the entire state. These predictions influence potential voters to stay home or to change their vote.

Our forefathers were right to institute a secret ballot. For individuals to honestly and freely express their opinions, they should be immune from subtle influences and possible reprisal. The pollsters choice of words, phrasing and inflection of his question can manipulate the responder’s answer. Polls do not offer any safeguards from the pollster’s potential influence or retaliation while the secret ballot does. A voting booth’s privacy eliminates any chicanery.

Regardless of the reason, polls have to be taken with a grain of salt to prevent each of us from wasting our sacred vote. We should vote for who we believe in not attempt to change the election outcome based on a false premise of a dubious poll.

Almost everyone including professional analysts went to bed thinking Obama was up by double digits in the New Hampshire primary and McCain was the inevitable winner in the Michigan primary. Hillary and Romney actually won these respective primaries. Obama’s overnight drop of 16 points in the New Hampshire primary was said to be because of the “Bradley Effect.” This effect is thought to be that whites do not want to appear to be racist to non-white candidates and lie about their vote to the pollster. Regardless of their rationalization they were wrong.

When the pollsters are far off the mark in their predictions, they give questionable explanations. Rick Lazio’s unexpected loss by a wider margin than predicted against Hillary Clinton in the New York senate race of 2002 was perceived as his being too physically aggressive in approaching her during a debate. This theory was called the “Lazio (Macho) Effect.” The disappointing showing of Romney in the 2008 primaries was attributed by some to the “Mormon Effect,” a bias against the Mormons. There is the “Late Voter Effect” where the late voters tend to go to a more conservative candidate and the “Bandwagon Effect” when momentum seems to change the poll’s results. Every time the polls are way off the mark there is another psycho-babble excuse.

In our rapidly moving and changing world many of us learn much of our information from newspaper headlines and three-minute television “sound bites.” Most people have minimal time and opportunity to discuss and analyze the validity of the conclusions of polls that are flashed before their eyes. We for the most part absorb them as fact. There isn’t a “return policy” in our election system. We are stuck with a leader who can do tremendous damage to society for four years. Buyers remorse does not matter.

It is our responsibility as citizens in a mass media society to question information that intuitively seems suspicious. When we follow the herd instead of doing our own homework to make an educated choice we are not doing our civic duty. Allowing ourselves to be led by a pseudo scientific poll could result in a sophisticated coup.

Our faith in polls far exceeds their ability to predict voter behavior. Although we see polls being wrong, time and again, too many of us make our voting decisions on the last poll. This is not logical or sensible.

Electing a leader who will have immense power over our lives is a consequential act. Misinformation can sway an election causing us to elect a candidate opposed to our constitutional protections. Being politically manipulated can only happen when people are too lazy or unwilling to research, think and exercise their right of free speech.

An uneducated electorate ultimately ends in a loss of freedom for the society. A carefully crafted fantasy candidate cannot be elected when people are willing to work and fight to gather the facts. Vote for the person who will represent your beliefs.

Dr. Maglio is the author of Invasion Within and Essential Parenting. He is a psychotherapist and the owner/director of Wider Horizons School.

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Monday, May 05, 2008

The Correct Label: PPD- Pathetic Parent Disorder

Every year our mental health industry creatively packages a new catchy 2-4-letter abbreviation to capture the imagination of the American public. Like the yearly most popular name for a new baby, the letters for disorders change every year. This year’s winning letters are AD, which is a tie between Autistic Disorder and Asperger Disorder.

Past winners were ADD, Attention Deficit Disorder, ODD Oppositional Defiant Disorder, CD Conduct Disorder, TD Tourettes Disorder and SAD Selective Anxiety Disorder. All these labels have one thing in common. They focus on the child’s inappropriate behavior not the reasons for being improperly socialized.

In the past when we saw a child act out we first looked at the parent’s behavior. The way they reacted to situations was most important. Were the parents willing to stand their ground regardless of not being liked by the child? Friends and family scrutinized the way the parents disciplined their child, the relationship between the parents and the amount of time devoted to the family. No words were needed to be spoken but the glances spoke volumes.

Everyone accepted the role of parents as the heads of the household; children were expected to listen to parents not the other way around. Parents were supposed to help the children deal with life. This meant the parent was expected to do everything possible to make sure the child behaved. The parents knew the ultimate evaluation of their parenting was how the child turned out.

A revolutionary concept of “returning to the past” has great promise. Examine the parents. If they are not fulfilling their parental duties then label them PPD, instead of labeling the child. “Pathetic Parent Disorder” is a more accurate pinpointing of the cause of acting out children.

Today too many parents are unwilling to limit their daily indulgences for the sake of time devoted to the family. Instead they believe they only need to set up an appointment with a mental health professional to solve all the family’s issues. The parents want to believe the solution to all their problems lies with the problem child. The professional obliges by first labeling the child then sending him on his way with a magic pill. The child’s disorder is supposedly cured.

This process has been a winner for the medical and pharmaceutical industries and a loser for the child and his parents. The medical route temporarily lessens the child’s actions, only to have them flare up with greater intensity after the drug’s effectiveness wears off. Although the parents are not the winners, they are relieved to transfer their responsibility and authority to someone else. The other children in the family and especially the child whose normal development has been ruined by the label and the drugs is the loser.

The consequence of a parent not dedicating sufficient time to their child is a poorly trained child. Labeling and drugging a child into submission does not do anything to improve the quality of the parent’s life. It requires the parents to spend more time in offices and battling the child over taking the drugs then they would have had to spend getting the child properly socialized in the first place.

Modern parents can end their dependency on the pharmaceutical and psychiatric industries by realizing they have the power to mold their child’s behavior and character.

Only through guilt for their shameless behavior towards their children can we nudge the parents back into their rightful position as heads of the family. The solution to these American families is to change who is being labeled. To focus solely on the child has not worked as it avoids addressing the accountability of the parents.

The new PPD, Pathetic Parent Disorder label is the answer. Unlike the child label gimmicks of the past this label will empower the parents to do their job. The parent’s inconsistent, ineffective, selfish or lazy behavior will be obvious to themselves and others.

Revitalized parents will see the effectiveness of their acting as parents. When they realize their child CAN listen, CAN obey and CAN gain mental strength to overcome any limitations they will become more successful in school.

Parents united, making the necessary decisions and consistently following through on them will result in children who will accept parent’s authority and eventually will appreciate them for being loving parents.

Dr. Maglio is the author of Invasion Within and Essential Parenting. He is a psychotherapist and the owner/director of Wider Horizons School. Visit: www.drmaglio.com.

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Fitting In: Not Doing What's Right

Six girls and two boys from Lakeland High School pummeled a sixteen year-old girl unmercifully. The cheerleader victim’s offense was “trash talking” online. They planned to put the video of this “cool event” on UTube and MySpace. The initial reaction to their arrest by some of these high self-esteem teens, who are as young as fourteen, was to worry about missing cheerleading practice. This “fun and games” violence is being repeated throughout the USA.
This is not urban ghetto gang violence of the past. These modern teenage imitators did not come from abusive families or live on the streets. Their main problems are that they have limited conscience development and have too few meaningful goals to keep them on the straight and narrow path. These suburban “gang wannabees” often come from homes where they are in charge.
The ability for children to choose and play with friends without parental involvement is minimal in our suburban existence. Their cool way to act with peers is not taught by the peers but by the media. They have learned how to “talk trash” but have negligible street smarts living in their upscale electronic homes. Everything in their lives is about them with little empathy for others.
They want to be celebrities who fit into a gangster, hip-hop world. They do not have access to a “ghetto” so they create a pseudo one in school and at parties. Their phony conversations are not about their daily lives but are about the imaginary existence they project.
The leaders of these suburban virtual gangs are the slickest, most verbally manipulative individuals of a group of lonely, purposeless souls. They do not have to actually prove themselves by their fighting prowess or use of a weapon. Their obnoxiousness is all they need. Through violent verbal imagery they can sway and intimidate members into following them. These threats happen in IM- instant messages, constant phoning and in school.
The gang members are not physically or verbally hardened. Their parents rarely used physical punishment or yelled at them. The slightest threat by someone else puts fear into their hearts. These teenagers are insensitive to the feelings of others but are extremely sensitive to “put-downs” by their peers. Their major objective as a teenager is to be accepted as the exciting person they fabricate on MySpace.
The major need of these pseudo gang members is not to get away from an abusive family but “to belong” to a group of peers. The “big-mouth” leader provides the discipline that they are seeking and rarely receive at home. They are unprepared to fight against the wickedness of others. The best they can do is to passively stand by as an accomplice to verbal and physical abuse of others.
The members choose not to confront the bully tactics of the pseudo gang leader for the same reason that their parents do not stand up to the objectionable behavior of friends. These adults lack strong values of right and wrong. We adults ignore many obvious wrongs but expect our children to act differently in their teenage world.
Today most of us have been given too much on a “silver platter” to realize the sacrifices necessary to accomplish our goals. Just like a winning team becoming complacent, America is becoming fat and lazy as the leader of the world. Many of us are living off the assets of our ancestors.
These ancestors had to work hard to survive. They were taught right from wrong, knew history and had a firm faith in God. They understood the long-term benefits of living a moral life although it was just as hard for them as it is for us today. They fought for their survival and freedom.
Rejecting the notion of being friendly weak parents and returning to maintaining moral values will end our tolerance of behavior that leads to destruction and evil. Parents need to punish their children for misbehaving to teach right from wrong and toughen them up to face the temptations of life. This will give them the moral strength to stand up to people and groups hurting others.
Strong moral people have the courage and the fight to maintain a decent and peaceful society. The vulgar brutality of children on children can only be moderated when parents teach their children right from wrong.
Dr. Maglio is the author of Invasion Within and Essential Parenting. He is a psychotherapist and the owner/director of Wider Horizons School.